i've never thought so deeply ever in my life...
sometimes the funny thing is that when u think that everything is going on smoothly, news of the loss of one's loved one hits you so badly like a bloody sledgehammer driving thru a glass. it shatters one's hope, one's feelings and worst, one's state of mind...
and normally it catches one unawares.... like during an outing with a client, or during an opera show, or worst, during a family holiday...
just imagine the feeling of seeing your loved one slumped into unconciousness, flirting close to the door of death... it is something that one will face eventually... or one will learn eventually how to deal with it... what differentiates is...
time..
if one has lost their loved ones when they are young and naive, the loss of having a full either paternal or maternal care is lost... it's the one thing that nothing on earth can substitute that..
if one has lost their loved ones when they are already into their teens, the feeling is different. they don't have someone whom they can trust will all their hearts to share their thoughts with. they don't have someone whom they can rely upon during the darkest time of their life. there's an emptiness foreboding when u step into the doors of your house... you return to a house but no more a home.. it's just merely a house with a roof to keep u away from rain and shine...
and with the loss of a loved one, during the funeral day the person might look composed.. shakes your hand, share a word with you on how much your presence is much appreciated... but then when you give him a warm comforting hug, the body shakes and fresh tears streams down from the eye that was once calm, now shaken with new waves of anguish and sadness... worst is that there is nothing to heal and nothing you can do... sometimes now i understand why time is sometimes the best medicine...
you wonder then why didn't you said 'thank you' before they took their last breath.. why hadn't you said 'i appreciate what you've done for me'.. why hadn't you said 'i love you' before they depart from this world for good?
and when during the funeral day comes, everything comes crashing down upon you knowing real well that now your words of love falls into deaf ears... why then shed tears for a body but with no soul in it? why only cry when the coffin is being laid down into the freshly dug earth? why hadn't you shown your love openly to whoever you love most? does it really take so much 'air muka' to open up the mouth to mouth out a couple of good words to let the person you love most, know that you love them?
no matter how much you hate your loved ones, it sometimes take a little understanding to know that in life there is no place for hate... how much can you hate a person? if you pass away one day, does your hatred goes with you to the very depths of your grave? why hate a person and put so much anger and hatred in a already cruel world out there?
i don't noe when will my time be up... it maybe tmw, it maybe the next hour, or the next min, or the very moment i step to cross the road and didn't see an oncoming bus... sometimes i wonder whether the last sunrise i see is today itself..
there's nothing permanent in this world... and nothing is certain in this world... there was a time when i was crazy over money and power but how much love money can buy? how much genuine love that can be substituted with money? i guess that when one's heart is true, god takes care pretty much of the rest...
as i walked out of the funeral parlour today, i realised that the most wonderful gift that god ever gave us is our heart itself... it seems small to most of us.. but our hearts are actually big enough for love to go around, but never big enough to store hatred and greed... why use up the space for unecessary feelings? does it take a death of someone close to you to know how much the meaning of love is?
i wandered aimlessly now and then
my mind spinning wildly like a fan
till today i went and saw the light
of what have happened and what have might
will my turn be next? i asked myself
or is it when the clock strikes twelve?
but i know nothing's permanent
only a fool's mind who believe it's certain
like a flower people come and go
it blooms and wither, only time will show
but what matters is saviouring the moment
whatever time spent together, that's what is certain
i wonder now have i lived my life so fully?
for i've never thought of it so deeply
but my life now is full and that makes me happy
is that by loving my FAMILY, RELATIVES, FRIENDS, ENEMIES, and YOU my xandie..=)
sometimes the funny thing is that when u think that everything is going on smoothly, news of the loss of one's loved one hits you so badly like a bloody sledgehammer driving thru a glass. it shatters one's hope, one's feelings and worst, one's state of mind...
and normally it catches one unawares.... like during an outing with a client, or during an opera show, or worst, during a family holiday...
just imagine the feeling of seeing your loved one slumped into unconciousness, flirting close to the door of death... it is something that one will face eventually... or one will learn eventually how to deal with it... what differentiates is...
time..
if one has lost their loved ones when they are young and naive, the loss of having a full either paternal or maternal care is lost... it's the one thing that nothing on earth can substitute that..
if one has lost their loved ones when they are already into their teens, the feeling is different. they don't have someone whom they can trust will all their hearts to share their thoughts with. they don't have someone whom they can rely upon during the darkest time of their life. there's an emptiness foreboding when u step into the doors of your house... you return to a house but no more a home.. it's just merely a house with a roof to keep u away from rain and shine...
and with the loss of a loved one, during the funeral day the person might look composed.. shakes your hand, share a word with you on how much your presence is much appreciated... but then when you give him a warm comforting hug, the body shakes and fresh tears streams down from the eye that was once calm, now shaken with new waves of anguish and sadness... worst is that there is nothing to heal and nothing you can do... sometimes now i understand why time is sometimes the best medicine...
you wonder then why didn't you said 'thank you' before they took their last breath.. why hadn't you said 'i appreciate what you've done for me'.. why hadn't you said 'i love you' before they depart from this world for good?
and when during the funeral day comes, everything comes crashing down upon you knowing real well that now your words of love falls into deaf ears... why then shed tears for a body but with no soul in it? why only cry when the coffin is being laid down into the freshly dug earth? why hadn't you shown your love openly to whoever you love most? does it really take so much 'air muka' to open up the mouth to mouth out a couple of good words to let the person you love most, know that you love them?
no matter how much you hate your loved ones, it sometimes take a little understanding to know that in life there is no place for hate... how much can you hate a person? if you pass away one day, does your hatred goes with you to the very depths of your grave? why hate a person and put so much anger and hatred in a already cruel world out there?
i don't noe when will my time be up... it maybe tmw, it maybe the next hour, or the next min, or the very moment i step to cross the road and didn't see an oncoming bus... sometimes i wonder whether the last sunrise i see is today itself..
there's nothing permanent in this world... and nothing is certain in this world... there was a time when i was crazy over money and power but how much love money can buy? how much genuine love that can be substituted with money? i guess that when one's heart is true, god takes care pretty much of the rest...
as i walked out of the funeral parlour today, i realised that the most wonderful gift that god ever gave us is our heart itself... it seems small to most of us.. but our hearts are actually big enough for love to go around, but never big enough to store hatred and greed... why use up the space for unecessary feelings? does it take a death of someone close to you to know how much the meaning of love is?
i wandered aimlessly now and then
my mind spinning wildly like a fan
till today i went and saw the light
of what have happened and what have might
will my turn be next? i asked myself
or is it when the clock strikes twelve?
but i know nothing's permanent
only a fool's mind who believe it's certain
like a flower people come and go
it blooms and wither, only time will show
but what matters is saviouring the moment
whatever time spent together, that's what is certain
i wonder now have i lived my life so fully?
for i've never thought of it so deeply
but my life now is full and that makes me happy
is that by loving my FAMILY, RELATIVES, FRIENDS, ENEMIES, and YOU my xandie..=)
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