i'm having pharmaco notes in front of me.. but i can't stop to put something here what my very heart is feeling now...
it seems to be only a couple of months since we started uni again.. but it already seems like half a year has gone by... maybe it was the numerous exams we have to take and we took 3 exams already... tmw is the forth... and i've been trying very very hard to get an A... oh god pls look over my shoulders tmw...
and there's something else that i'm thinking of... whether am i still the one whom you've been thinking of before going to bed and whether do the stars above still provide you with warmth and comfort that they have promised...
it's now that i understand i'm still not matured enough like a 21 yr old... and do things with an impulsive nature that sometimes leave my family members, relatives, friends and you hurt with remarks that i've made... i used to have a bad temper and now i've tried my best to keep them in check before i lose it... and i've still got a long way to go in my journeys in life and still got a lot more to learn...
i'm proud and happy to have a bunch of really good friends in imu to share the experience of learning medicine and sharing our journeys in life together... i'm thankful i have a great family and relatives who supported me with their never failing love and trust even though i've also hurt them in some ways.. and lastly, i've always looked up above and send a silent prayer to you to let you know how much u mean to me and that i'm always there for you...
there's nothing in life that can be certain... but the thing that makes us who we are, are the things that we go thru together... thru thick and thin... to those who still take me as their friend after i've made remarks that didn't mean to make, to those who still care for me even though i didn't show enough care in return, to those who tried to mould me into a better person but i just ignored thinking that i'm already good enough, and to those who still love me for all the faults i've made and that i'm not perfect and accepted me as who i am, i'm sorry... i'm trying very hard in improving myself... it's something honestly said from me...
i've always tried to be honest in whatever i do... comments that i've made... actions that i've done... maybe it's because my dad has thought me that honesty will not leave you worrying what have you said to someone... because you know that you mean what you say...
i believe in life there's always a time we will look back and reflect what we did in the past... i have put my thoughts this very morning here so when i'm in doubt again and when i feel that everything is working against me, i've always had a group of good friends (my sec school mates, f6 friends and imu) to help me out... the heart is too small to be filled with unhappy things... but it's always big enough to pour in some love and care... and i'm trying to put these wonderful things into those i feel whom i will stand by them just as they will stand by me in times of need...
i wear my heart on my sleeve maybe cuz life is short... if we do really care and mean to do it for someone, there's nothing wrong in doing it and showing how much you care... as long as it's honest and true from the heart... i feel that's the most important thing... i wouldn't mind showing to my friends how much i care for them becuase i really do... it's always great to have ppl around you who care and love you... i wouldn't want to look back some day and regret that i've not given my all to those who deserve the friendship, care and love from me...
at times of course i'm down and out, and sometimes the only thing that makes me happy is to play squash till i dropped... i remembered when kh ong was my coach when young, he pushed us like how he pushed his son... till we all had to crawl out from the court panting for breath... i love the way how i have to go for every ball in court... maybe cuz it shows that every ball i take is every chance i take and i don't wanna lose it... i appreciate what i have with me... especially you xan...
to all those who feel who has made an impact in my life, to those who reads my blog to know me better, to those who have worked their way out of their paths to help me and to those who forgave and accepted me for who i really am, you have a very big heart...
thank you very much... god bless u... you have my honest friendship, companionship and trust in return...
lastly, i'm happy with everything that i have with me and what i'm doing now... regrets we all have a few but it's how we pick up ourselves and cherish what we have that's with us now...
love you...
muaks dear....=)p/s my 21st bday pics will be uploaded after exams... when i have the free time during cvs...
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