aun woon

first of all, thanks for the dinner... it was fantastic and had a wonderful time meeting back friends that i've lost touch with and to catch up with you...

we've known each other for quite some time redi.. but mostly our friendship was based on chia woon-khye theng and my mum and ur mum in buying-selling house...

little do i have in mind that we'll just end up in the same uni and having to say good bye again since the last time i said bye to u was when u left to aussie after form 3...

i remembered those days when u were a prefect in secondary school and i used to kacau u and ur mum called my mum up saying that i always kacau u and u complained... ahaha... then i kena scolding and that was i felt the last time i really talked to u about things... cuz suddenly u din seem all that friendly to me after all...

then u went back... and once in awhile, ur parents and mine with my sis had dinner together and had catching up but i never did went for those gatherings... but when i was stuck in cold hostile russia and wanted to come back here, u were there to help me in the application into imu... it was such a hard time for me, being there, and calling back to my mum and my mum, as u noe, frantically searched and clueless at times...

but u were there to aid my mum, and helped me into talking to may kuan, whom now i've made close friends with, and ur mum, accompanying mine, went to imu to discuss about things... i have to say, it was such a great thing to do as a friend, being that time u were already in sem4 and bz with selectives and stuff... and u helped me even though i haven't seen u for nearly 3 years and with a bad history of kacau-ing u in school, it was seriously unexpected on my part to get such help from u... and sometimes i do look back and i have to say at times i don't even dare to call myself as ur friend cuz i did nothing but kacau u and u still helped me when i was in dire straits...

and u came over to my place with titus and talked to me cuz at that time, i was by all times the lowest point of my life... i remembered saying that i'm just useless and u said 'no.. ur not useless, just a test to noe ur true strength within urself'.. and titus just reassured me over and over again saying it's ok, u'll be better here, and get back ur old self and eveyrthing will be fine... i'm truly blessed with friends like both of u...

u noe, when at the party, when the rest sang u ur bday song, it's us, the subang jaya ppl who will still call u aun woon though u were known better as cindy in imu.. cuz u're still the aun woon that the sj ppl noe...

and now it's time for u to leave to jefferson.. so many things have passed and finally u've got what u've wanted... god really did bless u with ur change of option from sban to pms and blessed u with the mental strength and knowledge to take the usmle and pass it...

somehow, along the way, u've taught me the strength to carry on even though at times everything is against u.. and along the way, i've taught u how to chilling abit, eat more cuz u look anorexic, and how to reverse ur car at a tight angle when going off from my hse! haha...

perhaps when u come back and being known as dr. soon aun woon, then we'll look back at the days over a cup of tea when we both were shy to see each other in school, to when u told ur mum i was like jerk kacau-ing u, and till the day u left to the states to chase ur dreams...

or perhaps even u decide to stay there cuz ur *ahem* is there now and don't wanna come back.. ahaha.. it was then at the party that i found out that my friend wen yin is already married.. who noes u'll be next? ahhaa... jk! but do know that u've always been a great friend and i've got nothing to offer but words of encouragement in settling down there getting accustomed to the life there... i'm sure u'll do fine.. moreover he's there rite? ahaha...

god bless u always aun woon and may u succeed in whatever dreams u are chasing...

all the best!

my mum , aun woon, sister, titus and er... forgot his name redi...titus and me... buddies and friends for life...

ur 21st bday cake... the 'key' to ur freedom... do use it well and chase ur dreams...ur dad, u, celine and ur mum...

the sj ppl.. we'll always be there for u... friends forever...
god bless you.. take care wherever u are and all the best! friends forever!~~

追

追 - 張國榮

-什么都说不出了，拿一首歌给大家听听 -

這一生　也在進取　這分鐘　卻掛念誰　
我會說　是唯獨你　不可失去　
好風光　似幻似虛　誰明人生樂趣　
我會說　為情為愛　仍然是對

＊誰比你重要　成功了敗了也完全無重要　
誰比你重要　狂風與暴雨都因你燃燒

一追再追　只想追趕生命裡一分一秒　
原來多麼可笑　你是真正目標
一追再追　追蹤一些生活最基本需要
原來早不缺少　WO..HA..　
有了你　即使平凡卻最重要
（＠只得你　會叫我彷彿人群裡最重要）

好光陰　縱沒太多　一分鐘又如何
會與你　共同渡過　都不枉過
瘋戀多　錯誤更多　如能重新做過　
我會說　願能為你　提前做錯

Repeat ＊（＠）

有了你　即使沈睡了　也在笑

我...

不用追了..

勿忘我...

my best quotes

if you can't fight on for yourself, who else will fight with you?

it's the character that's important. i can raise a million dollar baby but it's useless when the baby throws all the money away later in life.- dad

we are at the tails end of our life. you have to strive on for your own success.- dad

Aerith: You came. Even though you're about to break. That's a good sign.
Aerith: So... Why did you come?
Cloud: I think... I wanna be forgiven. Hmmm. More than anything.

sometimes the hardest person to forgive is to forgive yourself. have u ever wondered mistakes that you've made but the person who was hurt forgives you but u just can't forgive urself for making those mistakes?

but, everyday comes as a challenge... and the only thing that makes me go to bed soundly is that i've given my best in everything that i do... not an ounce less... so i hope and pray that the day that i can't forgive my own self will never come again...

there's a saying that goes:
'i swim as hard as i can and as fast as i can, and the sea takes the rest'

but have you ever wondered, to those who rescue others, they themselves are the ones who needed to be 'rescued'? it's such an irony that those who have given their hearts and soul to rescue someone, are actually the most vulnerable in their hearts just waiting to be rescued by another person... it's something that i've come to know after all these while...

they rescue other people because they have made a mistake and can't seem to forgive themselves for it... but little do they know that they will be the ones in return who needed to be rescued at the beginning...

it's such an irony, crude, twist of fate that such things happen all around us.. it's tough and unfair.. but sometimes we do need some rescuing ourselves after rescuing others...

that's if you know what i've been talking about...

don't we?

nostalgia

i have just taken a look into the past... a past that wasn't too long ago and sometimes once you've seen the pics everything just comes back to you and you sit back and watch wonderfully as pics and pics fly by...

but the sad thing is that you can only look, prob watch a little video or two, laugh, make some comments on your very own self of your own stupidity and think back of what prob went thru your head when you did such things...

but i guess in the end, it's the tears that floods my eye..

i don't know why.. it's just that 2003-2004 was the best part of my life... the friends i had in u6sc4... it was a mutt set of class with none of us belonging from the school student itself... our class were of transfer students.. 26 of us and none of us came from samad.. we made up of subang, sri aman, assunta, tmn sri muda and one from as far as sg buloh..

we laughed, we sang and we cried together... we fought pass stpm holding hand in hand... we went to holidays pouring everything out in our hearts knowing very well it was going to be the last holiday that we are going to have... after that we lead our separate ways and we are all over the world now.. separation is hard.. separation takes us to different places so when we come back someday, we have memories and experience to share with.. but separation brings tears..

i've never been such a person who look back and shed tears over friends who come and go... but my form 6 friends, yeah.. i do have a soft spot for them.. we didn't get together well during the early days, but then bit by bit, we became close like a family... a family of 26... somehow when i looked in yin's profile, our group profile, and pics on bkt tinggi, redang, selesa hills, somehow it's just hard to phatom the fact that it's arleady in 2007.. and the holidays that took place were back in 2003..

i miss being picked by mahendran to give my thoughts on open issues, i miss being scolded by tiong for mischevious in class, i miss having recess with the gang and tapau whatever food we can tapau and eat in front of norashikin. and among all, i miss the laughter of everyone of us when we went from house to house for cny, or even having a simple tea at wong kok... i want those back.. i want it back badly... when you look back on things that you have done and you know you've given your heart into it, you just don't want it to end... it was the days where you just don't have to think what you say, and just say cuz your friends know it's just the bloody jen lye who say things jsut for the sake of saying it...

it's been 4 years...

but memories are fresh.. note 'are'... cuz i don't want them to be in the past tense.. i don't want them to end..

yeah.. i just don't want them to end...

it's funny when at that moment, you just seem that you can skip parties or gatherings.. but now, i want to go for all.. cuz i don't noe what the morrow brings.. whether i will be healthy to see my friends again or whether i'm still happy enough to smile and sail through the days of darkness... somehow now i just want to be involved...

if i had one wish...

i'll roll back the clock to when i was still wearing that green pants and white shirt... with pleasure i will trade anything that i have with me to bring back those moments that i have enjoyed and inprinted in my memories till my breath take me away...

if have to say what i want to do now, if i had the power within me, if i had the wish and have my wish granted, is to bring back those wonderful memories that we spent together through thick and thin, and through ups and downs...

because....

you've all been a part of my memories and life... it was just too good to have it come to and end though in every beginning has an end... it's just sad that we have all went our separate ways... and we've all grown up... perhaps when we sit back someday over a cup of tea, we can still picture the sounds and expression of kitty with his laughter, syn and chi with their antiques, the subangites with their kiasuness and above all, a class which had so much bond to be just forgotten and eaten up in time...

maybe i'm too emo... but i have to say, of late, i've been losing this craziness in me that i've shared with you all back then... perhaps looking at this pics can bring back that joy of nothingness in me...

it was a wonderful chapter in my life... and i have to qualms saying that... my schooling life is complete with you ppl...

thank you U6Sc4...

our gp picture in the sea...
on the way to redang...
at some cove where we were suppose to look for shooting stars...
at selesa hill...
my 18th bday where i got smashed with cake cream.. my face didn't look the same after that thanks to yin and chi...
at redang sleeping at the edge of the cove trying to catch the sun to rise...
our pic in redang..
and this is in bkt tinggi.. we did have our midnite jungle trekking and i saw a shooting star...
me with yin and chi...
in the sea!!!! how much i love this pic..
and this...
our dinner at kwai lam... i think this was our last real gathering dinner together before we went separate ways... the whole 20 of us were here...
frozen in time.. everlasting memories...
our run at kiara hills...
dissecting rats at tong's class...
when chris and yin both shared the same bday... look at the love!! ahaha... jk!
at gerald's bday.. we practically crash the house.. my mum was there too!! this pic was taken by my mum...
our gang here in redang...
before we departed...
on the way back...
when i was contemplating to jump from the boat roof... looks like damn low but act it's 5 meters high!!
and of course, chris, gerald, and me jumped!!!

when we all tried cramming into that small little window of the japanese hse to take pics...
when i was so carefree and didn't care one shit...
the family at berjaya resort in redang...
the family at bukit tinggi...

p/s: this post is dedicated to the family of U6Sc4... forever we shall stand together... some of us prob moved on and when you look back at these pics, the nostalgic moments just floods back our memories... some, who like me, who shall always look back and remember those days and moments where we shared our bond of friendship and family... everyone has a place called a sanctuary... and i have mine... and mine lies in these pics that we all once took when we were carefree and still had a warm heart in us...

signing off..
jens

hearts

i've came to understand that will be times when what have you done things that has touched someone's heart along the way... it's good sometimes to know that you have done so, but there might be some circumstances where you know you won't hear that...

but what's in the heart that matters...

someone who is always there ready to extend their help has touched the hearts of others.. but the true question lies in those who are willing to open their hearts and give back in return...

so ask urselves...

who will you touch?

and of course the ultimate question

who will touch you?

i guess the latter somehow in your hearts you know it very well.. though at times you can't say it out personally cuz maybe you don't want them to misunderstand.. but in this hard world of loneliness and emptiness, it's good to acknowledge those who have somehow made you feel like you... feel like your original self.. make you laugh and do crazy things for that's just being yourself... and it's just something nice to hear if you've told them that...

'you've touched me'

Amazing Grace

Sometimes you just feel that you are alone fighting all odds urself.. till i finally heard this song that once a good friend of mine sent to me a long time ago... and then you'll finally understand that sometimes we are not alone always...

Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found;
Was blind, but now I see.

’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
And grace my fears relieved;
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares,
I have already come;
’Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me,
His Word my hope secures;
He will my Shield and Portion be,
As long as life endures.

Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,
And mortal life shall cease,
I shall possess, within the veil,
A life of joy and peace.

When we’ve been there ten thousand years,
Bright shining as the sun,
We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise
Than when we’d first begun.

gifts

i have to say in time, there are things that we received and things we gave out..

but those gifts that are priceless and don't cost a single cent are gifts that come from the heart...

words is one of the best gift...

but it has to be said earnestly, and honestly...

it may be words of encouragement, or even words of assurance...

or the best among all, words of appreciation....

it's something that i rate highly most because many things that we do day in day out do require effort and thoughts towards our actions that we take... or may be it's a sacrifice that was made to improve and make things better... and those actions though doesn't necessarily seem important in other people's eyes sometimes do come as at least an effort by those who are willing to give...

but the sad thing is that you don't often hear it... maybe because it's a bit shy to be mouthed out? or perhaps, deep down inside, what has been done has not been really appreciated enough to say it out...

but, it is in fact the best gift of all.. the willingness in giving, and the appreciation given in return...

it's free of charge, if said with all your heart, it would mean a world to the person receiving it...

it's something that's beyond the measure of money, but it's measured with pure sincerity that lies in those who whispers it...

if there's one phrase that can brighten anybody's day up to me is...

'i appreciate you'

Post KL Open

I'm useless... just feel like giving up the game...

contemplating with it rite now... i just don't noe why this time the lost seems so hurting...

argh... perhaps the reason is as clear as the blue sky... i'm not a squash player... i camp not in the squash court but in the library....

i'm a medical student... not any other thing else...

just a post of randomness... the sad thing was that i keep blaming myself for it... if you were there watching the game, i went harakiri midway thru the 1st set...

that was what at least samuel told me... just sooo stupid...

perhaps that what's motivating me to do pbl now...

perhaps it's just time to hang up my racket...

now it's eos 3... i can't screw up this one...

CIMB KL Open Squash Championship 2007

Sheet1

The draw is out!!!! man.. hope i can do well this time...=)

	A	B	C	D	E	F	G	H	I
1					CIMB KL OPEN SQUASH CHAMPIONSHIP 2007
2					JALAN DUTA, KUALA LUMPUR 22ND - 25TH MAR 2007
3					MENS DIV IV
4
5					22.03.07	23.03.07	24.03.07	25.03.07
6	No	Name
7	1	JOHNNY TAN		1	JOHNNY TAN
8	2	KRISHNAN PAUL
9	3	KADERI PASAT
10	4	VADIVELAN SAYLON		16	LUA KIM CHEW
11	5	ADEEN IDRAKI		9	RAYMOND PHOON
12	6	ALEX WAN
13	7	RAJA ADAM
14	8	NG EAIN WEI		8	NG EAIN WEI
15	9	RAYMOND PHOON		5	ADEEN IDRAKI
16	10	EDWARD CHAN
17	11	TARMIZI MOHD ZAIN
18	12	SAMUEL CHAN		12	SAMUEL CHAN
19	13	SAM CHAN		13	SAM CHAN
20	14	MOHD FADZIL ABD HAMID
21	15	WAN JEN LYE
22	16	LUA KIM CHEW		4	VADIVELAN SAYLON
23	17			3	KADERI PASAT
24	18
25	19
26	20			14	MOHD FADZIL ABD HAMID
27	21			11	TARMIZI MOHD ZAIN
28	22
29	23
30	24			6	ALEX WAN
31	25			7	RAJA ADAM
32	26
33	27
34	28			10	EDWARD CHAN
35	29			15	WAN JEN LYE
36	30
37	31
38	32			2	KRISHNAN PAUL

CIMB KL Open 2007

i went to berjaya times yesterday to catch abbas-boswell as well as nicol-natalie's match... left at 1pm after having brunch cuz i was pretty sure that if i left later just to catch nicol's match, it would be so pack that you have just no place to stand or sit..

i thought the seatings were free like last year.. last year was at bkt jalil seeing a final betw beng hee -wael el hindi.. and seatings were free.. but this time i guess that it's because it's held in times square so the entrance was RM30 a person.. damn expensive lar cuz it's not just me but my mum and my sis went as well... so it's like RM90.. we decided to stand and watch.. which in the end turned out to be rather tiring and packed.. cuz we stood thruout the 5 hours (men's final and women's final)

the boswell and abbas match was not a really an entertaining one.. cuz prob boswell was so worned out after his previous round match against karim darwish.. but then abbas, who beat nick matthews was just fabulous.. i've never seen such wonderful play of drops before my entire life.. abbas just kept playing safe, straight drives and straight drops that were so tight and so low i sometimes thought boswell would be done in less than 30 mins... boswell did lose in the end without much fight and the match was won 3-0

then the most anticipated match was by our very own nicol david and natalie grinham.. that match was a major sellout cuz by the time the match started, the seats were all snapped up and best was all the levels at the concourse area was packed by our malaysians giving their support.. however the ugly side of msians did surface when twice natalie had to ask for a let cuz some stupid idiot malaysian shouted 'go nicol' when a rally was at play.. and the worst is that the rally was going on for like 2 mins straight and some idiot shouted out and had the game stalled... of course the umpire did give whoever that fella some warning and told the crowd not to make any noises...

it was a great match this one with natalie pushing nicol to the edge.. there were couple of times i thought nicol couldn't have got the ball but she showed superd agility and fitness and speed as well.. well, world no 1 is still no 1.. it was a much better match that the grinhams themselves during the semis.. rachel grinham like handed the match to natalie during the semis..

anyway these are the pics that i've taken with my handphone camera.. it's not very clear though and can't zoom in.. but it just gives a rough idea on the support and the atmosphere of the game...

nicol throwing the CIMB sponsored T shirts into the outstretched arm of the crowd...

Natalie interviewed by Jamie Hickox at the end of her match with Nicol
And now Jamie interviewing Nicol on her win in the game...
During the match... Nicol taking on Natalie with her forehand drives
And this time with the backhand
Boswell against Abbas... Boswell was just soo darn tired... even my mum could see that..
Jamie Hickox introducing Boswell into the courts..

The sellout crowd that came to see Nicol's match.. all the way to the top of the concourse area..

Finally, I'll be playing in the CIMB KL open 2007 in Jalan Duta squash courts on the 22nd -25th march.. this time this com is opened to the public... and also for those who played in the preliminary rounds of this KL open and didn't make it into the main draw... neways, do give me ur support yar...=)

the cherryblossom garden

When the cherryblossom colors flutter, I’m alone

Standing exhausted, I can’t cut off these feelings bottled up inside

When the color of new leaves shake, my feelings overflow
I lost sight of everything and drifted towards you

The trees around us told us in silence
That we would both see:
People don’t have to be limited to one place

When the withering leaves change color, I am next to you
And as the passing days fade, our love changes

But please, let these trees
Protect these feelings
Silently rustling your leaves above us,
Just one more time..

Before long, the seasons will pass
And we will be taken somewhere else
But right now, there’s only one thing I know
Embrace me, silently

Covered by the snow, the feelings get lost
The footprints vanish, sounds disappear in vain

But please, let these trees
Protect these feelings
So that, frozen in eternity
We may live on here

When the cherryblossom colors flutter, I’m alone
Savoring my thoughts of you

reflections of me

some ppl told me the other day that my blog shows alot about me... cuz my style of blogging gives way to a lot of things that i think of and do each day....

probably that was what hindered me to blog for a period of time... my last post was on the 24th of jan and now it's the 12th of feb.. it's been more that 2 weeks since i last posted something... i've got a lot to write actually.. about kkb, about the short holiday that just concluded and of course about my eating escapades that took place...

i take some time of thinking whether should i continue blogging.... or perhaps change the things i write in my blog...

but this is me... i'm known to my friends i'm a deep thinker.. i'm a person who says what i want to say and have no fear is saying out things that i feel that is supposed to be said.. but sometimes even my close friends wonder whether my actions denote what i think for they too get lost in my already jungled mind...

a blog tells about ppl.. that's true to a certain extend... cuz if u don't blog about urself, then it's hard to gauge what that person is going thru or feels at a certain point of time... have you ever thought some times that u want to get a msg across to somebody but u don't know how or at times u jsut can't? maybe those who created blogs had the intention of doing so, to share their intrinsic point of view perhaps to a selected group of people or maybe even to the rest of the world...

i believe mine's the latter...

i've got off hand comments that states my blog very emo, comments that my blog is somewhat rather personal...

perhaps this is how i like it to be... i hope i never had offended anyone with my post in my blog... it's just a style that i'm comfortable with..

or sometimes all u want to say in a blog is something simple like
"it's been a long day"
"things are just not in my way"
-or-
"i want to say something but i just don't noe how to say kinda feeling"

strange isn't it.. sometimes some things are easier said thru a blog rather than straight to a person.. u might think it's not but u'll be surprised when u actually have that kinda feeling u'll know there's never an end to ur blogging...

perhaps i'm here trying to change the way how ppl blog so they too can blog more about their inner feelings and thoughts so perhaps we can share and jump into their boat and dwell in their miseries or happiness...

or perhaps u r just waiting for a call to come but deep inside u know it won't come..

or perhaps u want to sms someone but knowing well that that person whom u are going to sms hardly replies ur messages prob that someone feels awkward to do so...

or am i just too complicated to comprehend?

i'll just let my blog speaks for itself....

the stay

it's horrendous.. it always is.. especially if it's ur first time to stay in that building which houses so many docs and nurses and of course sick ppl like me...

i was never hospitalised before... and sometimes when we study in BS and when jambu said that all the patient wants is just a chat and some kind assurance, i begin to understand why... i've stayed for 3 nites and 4 days after a massive gastroenteritis (layman's term:diarrhoea).. i'm down with an e coli infection and of course i suffered terribly with a record breaking toilet visit of 17 times in a day till i couldn't walk anymore... my butt is sore and at times my stomach makes noise as loud as a trumpet.. u don't need a stethoscope to auscultate cuz u'll go deaf... it's just as loud as a elephant's snort...

but i had xandra who never failingly came to visit me throughout my stay in hospital.. she came from morning till evening.. and i appreciate it a lot.. she kept me company on days when i felt that i was the most lonely person with no one to talk to... and in fact sometimes if there's no one else to talk to, you can actually cry yourself to bed because it's just depressing... i realy do appreciate it a lot... thank you dear..

what i did in bed was to talk to the person beside me... in fact i have a story to share with you all a true story... unabridged.. the best i could remember cuz the patient came in only on my last nite i'm gonna spend in hospital and i'm checking out the next day so we chatted till 1am.. and i was attracted to their story.. it's mix of love, tragedy, marriage and parenting...

the patient next to me was the ex deputy general manager of TNB.. yeah.. tenaga nasional.. and he came in with his wife who accompanied him... total accumulated clerking history time: 5/6 hours..

both of them met in uk back then during the japanese occupation.. she was 24 and so was he... he was studying in london polytechnic as an engineer and she, in bristol university in a degree in teaching.. they were of both opposite character... she, an introvert and he, a complete extrovert... in fact they were of opposites in many ways... she's a christian.. a very strong one.. and he, a buddhist a very strong one as well.. along the way of reliving back her youthful memories of dates at the cafe, drinking only tea cuz it's cheap and refillable and recounting back those days when he took her to the theater watching black and white screenings of the latest movie in town, she did shed a tear or two...

she came to know him from a friend of hers.. and since being an introvert, she rarely engaged herself in social nights or any function that normally brought the malaysian community together there at that time.. mind you during the colonial days, the no of malaysian students who were able to go to the uk to study were very very rare... so since the community was small everyone seem to know everybody... but he was a totally diff personality.. he was an extrovert who enjoyed parties and flirting with numerous girls dancing with them till the dance floor closed...

so both of them met somewhere at central london in 1953/4 through an acquaintance.. and he was dating another girl during that time and so was she, also seeing another guy.. but she was struck by his outwardness, his ability to express himself.. and his extrovertness at the beginning which she found was a bit too much to be tolerated, later began to enjoy his company day after day... then when both sides found out that even though they knew they were attached with someone else, they both took their chances together...

-here she didn't elaborate what 'took their chances' mean... i tried to press on but of course it's P&C-

her friend warned her about their differences.. even to the tiniest bit of religion and upbringing.. but she had faith... or was it blind faith that saw her through every tragedy that later came into her life with the man whom she put her life into... they both had a son.. one son.. their only child at the age of 30.. they were married at 26.... and it was then with the arrival of their son, which then spurn a story of mixed emotions, one that's filled with love, tragedy, arguements and distrust.. but it was then that she told me she found there was a god who guided them through every single rough patch in their life...

they fought over which school should their son go to.. they fought for which religion should the son be exposed to... and she knew that he attended church becuase he wanted to please her and not because he was a servant of god.. but she kept quiet and so did he.. little by little, differences that built up along the way that wasnb't expressed soon erupted when the son reached his turning point in life.. his tertiary education... what both wanted their son to become.. suddenly both parties couldn't compromise anymore...

she wanted her son to be a doctor and he wanted their son to be an engineer... and she recalled their bitter fights and his bitter scolding of harsh words in cantonese that inflicted wounds that were so deep that she cried everytime when she goes to bed... their son in the end went to edinburgh to do medicine and now is a specialist in a hospital in canada... but then they both fought becuase of their differences in everything... he compromised a lot in order the marriage to go on smoothly and so did she.. but we are humans.. and there will be a point when we all reach our peak and then we break.. and so did she...

it was then she found god by her side... guiding her throughout her ordeal.. she was hospitalised for stroke back then in the 1980's and whenever she felt alone, she always called out to god... and her favourite quote to me which i remembered real clearly was 'God is great... not a second early not a second late...'

they both made it through their marriage after years of differences but they both know one thing.. that marriage is of sacrifice and sown with heartfelt love... now he's admitted with a stroke that cost him his hearing on one side of the ear.. we became fast friends becuase i was watching how nadal nearly got upsetted by andy murray and he shared the same passion in commenting on tennis matches though both of us played no tennis at all... our friendship of being hospitalised together sparked off in that manner..

but before i left, she left something hanging for me to think about... she said...

- what if i followed the other man and not him? what if i obeyed and took my friend's advice?-

i had no answer... and all she ended it very well...

-we make choices sometimes we don't know of.. if we would have known do you really think we would cherish the ones we have beside us now? i took the road less taken.. now it's your turn.. use it wisely-

i left with millions of questions running through my head.. it's the 'what if's' that always keep us pondering...

but as i said earlier, if there's the 'what if's' there's no joy and happiness in life.. for everyday will be a joyful day and the day of sadness shall not come... but god made us into flesh and blood and a mankind of feelings.. and i know, he will look over everyone of us in anyway in whatever religion to guide us through the rightful path in life...

And the LORD shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not.

Isaiah 58.11

loving jay chou

he's the best...

better than the rest...

who dares to disagree with me??

ahahahahaha.... boredom... waiting to go out to celebrate hwei wan's bday and just listening to jay's song...

he's just soooo super duper califragalisticespialidocious good isn't he??

this one u have to agree with me...

no doubts...

ahhhhhhhhh.... how come i can't remember anything about general pathology now??? *sobs*

-back to reading pathology-

this post is randomness...

我爱你周杰倫!!! =)

bliss

what more can u get in a day after spending some time watching my fav 'curse of the golden flower' and later rushed out halfway of the show cuz sis' bag was in the car which i accidentally took without checking and rushed to usj 2 and back to the cinema in er.. 15 mins?

-palpitations-

what do you get after having 3 consecutive days of squash training which starts at 8.30pm and ends at 10.30pm?

-er... hungry stomach and muscle ache? oh.. and blogging at this hour...=P-

what do you get with multiple complains of muscle aches?

-free massage by this masseur who declines to be name.. ehehhee... but she goes by the name of mousy... was it free by the way? oh.. she charges very very exorbitantly high interest rates of a couple of thumps in the back... ehehhehe... bluek!-

finally...

oh and what feeling do you get while eating 2 packs of indo mee and downing a cup of hot milo kosong kau kau kurang manis after a long squash training nite and blogging while watching house md?

-ah... heavenly.. this is bliss-


this post is so pei-ish... this is so not jen lye's style... argh... stop infecting me!!!!! wwaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh~~~~

bluek!

the weird feeling...

i don't know why am i blogging at such an hour when i'm supposed to sleep...
perhaps my heart has got something to say but i just don't know how to say it...
or is it that exams are coming and i just went too sien reading notes...
or is it i'm wondering whether when the moon awakes, the same old dream repeats again...
it's just the same old dream...

but...

i can't seem to understand it... or are dreams not meant to be understood at the very beginning? i don't know what's the meaning of it, but what i see is just a lady, at a cliff, i can't make out her face, and she's veiled by the shrouding mist that covered most of her self...

she had a flowing lock in her hair and it was white... and her hair was long... shoulder length... and she's right at the edge of the cliff but she seems relaxed from the back... i stood there stunned and tried to tell her danger is approaching... but she doesn't seem to hear me... and everytime when i tried to approach her, i'll just wake up, my eyes blinked in shock, my dreams just stops right there...

just there... at the cliff, i tried warning but my throat is stuck...

i'm just wondering, who's she? why has it been my bedtime company for quite some time? what is the dream trying to tell me?

and the funny thing is that before i reached the cliff, i was dreaming i was in another place which i don't know of...

and the funny thing is instead of me trying to save her from falling, i fell instead...

sometimes i wonder when this dream started and at what time.. cuz the dream seems short when i put it out in words, but on some days, i'm awaken by this dream... as i regain my senses, i felt that my soul has left my body, detached, and my body shakes when i'm awake as if my soul returned from it's dreamland, (that's when i was having the free fall in my dreams...)

it's peculiar because i've tried to wait and see the face, but the lady didn't turn... i'm always awake before she turns her head...

she didn't turn... is that why the dream keeps repeating? till i find out who is it?

or somethings are just not meant to be found out?

or it's just a dream and it just remains as a dream?

i wonder...

New Year's Resolutions

chaching!!!!

starts off with losing weight and fats... over 2006 i lost 7kg from 72kg - 65kg... target now is 60-62kg... do i really look that fat? *vanity*

to learn how to cook mum's dry chicken curry... i don't seem to able to get it... somehow the chicken is half burnt... cuz too dry.. i don't noe how to control the fire.. haih...

improving my stamina... over 2006, my run of non stop 7km uphill and downhill takes me roughly 23 mins... should cut down on the timing and make it shorter... fitness level is still in doubt... prob that's why i still pant on court... maybe i should cut down to just 20 mins? i'll be super fit by then...

improving my damn shots... i seem not to be improving since pj open... somehow i seem to be stagnant there... perhaps a change in training technique? my drops still suck!

and finally to be able to make it to sukma 2008.. my last chance cuz they extended the age gp limit to U-23.. even though reserve good enuf lar.. that's why i must start off with losing weight and fats... and improving my stamina... perhaps it's jsut a dream.... haih.. my dad'll kill me if i miss eos 5 for sukma...

p/s: oh and yes... try.. yes just try not to have too many bak kut teh sessions with my kaki... it's killing me softly... starts off with endothelial damage, oxidation of LDL from the fats of bak kut teh, becomes foam cells, intimal smooth muscle migrates, formation of fibrous cap, then macrophage secretes interferons, fibrous cap ruptures, thrombosis, platelet aggregation, embolism and then... thromboembolism in coronary artery... then MI... blek!

that happens when u have too much of cvs during christmas and new year... happy new year to all of u!!!

oh... and praying someone would either
a) sponsor me a ticket to watch IL DIVO...=) or
b) get me the prince O3 tour racket... this one is a 2 die 4...=P

hugs~~~~
jens

xmas celebrations and reflections of the year...

dear friends,

well, i wanted to blog about this a couple of days ago but too busy.. it's like exam's on the 5th of jan and worst is that even on new year's day also have to study much less go to kl for countdown for the new year... initially i thought of going to bangsar with u noe, the 'bujang lapuk' ppl but then have to call it off cuz it's like super guilty if i do so... i'll spend the weekend watching fireworks from the tv while trying to cram blood vessels drainage and embryology of the heart...

the kitchen before the party starts...

christmas this year was great... but just the fact that knowing felicia is going for a scoliosis operation in UH on the 6th jan just put a cold towel a bit on our christmas celebration. this year aunt called in a carol from a church and they started of by singing amazing grace.. the carol group comprises of a mother and her daughters... and they were great cuz it's the songs that they sing and their voices brings warmth in a very hostile world outside... i've got to know aunt felicia becuase she's cai lin's mum... and i met cai lin way back when i was in form 1 when my aunt threw a party for her in sunway lagoon... that time she wasn't in the national swimming squad yet but after a shift from synchronise swimming to just swimming, she did very well after that... cai lin and her mum pops in during xmas now quite often and it was from christmas party that we renew our friendship... jen lye=21 yrs old with aunt felicia= 50+ yrs old.. and boy! she can really do the tango cuz she was my partner in some game for the party...

the carolling band...
but she'll be going into OT on 6th jan due to scoliosis.. it was pretty quite obvious now cuz the pain has become less and less bearable.. and when after the amazing grace was sung, she was already streaming with tears... i feel sad for her as well cuz it's a very dangerous operation and i do hope she'll make it out safely... i've gave my word to her to visit her and i will...

ah... we had of course plenty of food... great food with western blend and asian taste... it was in all great and we had turkey... boy after dinner i felt i weighed an extra couple of kilos... fine dining at it's best! =)
the eastern cuisine
the korean style food..
chinese style prawns... fuh.. i tell u... i ate 12 prawns!! clogging up my arteries...=P
a mountain of ferrero rocher and desserts..
more desserts and wines...
the turkey with cranberry sauce...
my uncle and me....
dining... that's aunt felicia with the polka dot blouse... pls pray for her ppl k? thanks...=)

i felt blessed with things that i have now with me... blessed that god has kept me safe in many ways... touch wood i've got nothing and i'm fine and both my parents and sis is fine... and i'm having a good education so that i can have a better future... of course we envy sometimes on what others have but then it's always one thing that i'll remember till today if i don't have anything that even though i crave for... god will provide enough... this christmas is a time to recollect back our memories of friendship and familial ties... and put our prayers into hope and faith that we'll do our best and live our life to the fullest with no regrets and god himself will take care of the rest..

as the year draws it's curtain behind me, i have to say that i will walk into the new year with full of hope, faith and love to share with everyone... mistakes that i've made in the past shall stay on with me as a lesson learned and not to be repeated... and sometimes even though i feel that friends around me who don't accept me as i am as in i'm somebody's friend's friend that kinda thing, i guess patience should be given and let time takes it course...

and one thing that i've learned throughout my 2006 is that time is a great healer... it can heal wounds that you never expect to heal... it can give a person some time for soul searching.. and finally it can give someone enough time to know what they really want in life... and while the clock ticks away, one keeps busy with daily chores to forget something that's painful and persevere on till one day the heart is finally ready to accept an apology that's been so difficult to come to terms with at the very beginning...

we all are humans.. we are nothing close to perfect... we throw away the bad and pick up the good so we can be a better person in some way... there's frustration throughout my year in 2006 and of course if everything was smooth, then even the good has no place for cherished memories...

finally, as the new year looms ahead, i shall walk into it with a heart full of confidence, of perseverance, of hope, of faith, and of love... i wish my family, relatives, friends and enemies alike a very happy new year... if i have ever said or did anything that have hurt your feelings in some way, i'm sorry... may your year ahead be filled with joy and laughter and happiness... and there's plenty of love to be shared around... do that and i'm sure the year ahead will be a better year that's awaiting us...

here are some undated pics about me throughout the year 2006...
posers unlimited with nina...
and with sis and nina...
the cousins.. nina, sis, and e wah...
family trip to genting...
my 21st bday....
the group who came for my bday... thanks!

steamboat at yuen's with xan, hwei wan, pei, denise and geoff..
as squash coach during my electives...
my dear jie whom i really do miss in moscow... thanks for being a great friend in many ways...

me and xan... muax!
the genting trip... wonderful memories...

with xan in wong kok char chan teng during kitty's bday...
gaik chin, me, joy and wei cheng... great senior friends from seremban... miss u ppl loads!

and finally the imu buddies whom i shall cherish and stay thru thick and thin...=)

signing off with warmest regards,
jens

p/s: i've post some pics from the party itself and of other occasions that i would like to reflect upon..
have a pleasant new year 2007..=)